Victims of Domestic Violence

Do you feel trapped by a pattern of victimization? Perhaps you were molested as a child by someone you knew, an event you'd rather forget. Later, in college, you were taken advantage of by your date when you passed out in a drunken stupor. Now, you're in a relationship where your partner calls you names, phones you constantly at work and gets irrationally angry all the time. There are many resources for victims of domestic violence in America. While it may seem like a personal matter, it's moreover a matter of your personal safety. Every year, there are more than one million violent acts against women and 30% of all female murders are committed by lovers or former lovers.

So what puts a victim of domestic violence particularly at risk? Many studies have tried to sort out what makes a crime victim. One theory is that socioeconomic status plays a part. Often, a woman of low income meets a man who controls "the power of the purse," so to speak. The man sometimes gives out a meager "allowance" to keep the woman enslaved to him and to exert his dominance further. He will demand that she account for every single penny.

When he looks at where she spends the money, he'll often use it as an excuse to justify his irrational, angry outbursts and ensuing violence. Sometimes, men will not allow their partners to work, or will take her paychecks and sabotage her job by showing up and shouting at her or will phone incessantly and disrupt her productivity. While the woman in the domestic partnership may really want to leave, she is held back by her inability to survive on her own.

Another theory is that victims of domestic violence are themselves violent people. A study funded by the National Institute of Justice surveyed college students and found that women who hit, kicked or punched others were at increased risk of being severely abused by their partners. Twenty-seven percent of the victims reported initiating the physical conflict and 40% reported retaliating in self-defense. Despite "who started it," many women feel they cannot call the authorities when their partner strikes if they've inflicted visible damage upon the other person as well.

Doctors and health care professionals use two quizzes to determine the risk for victims of domestic violence: the lethality checklist and the physical abuse scale. The lethality checklist asks the following: Does he objectify you and call you names? Does he blame you for injuries? Is he unwilling to let go, obsessed with you, hostile, angry, distraught or jealous? Has he been involved in previous acts of violence or hurting animals? Has he made threats against you, your kids or himself? Does he have access to guns? Is he drinking alcohol or using drugs?

Does he have a volatile relationship with you, frequent thoughts of hurting you or unwillingness to change? The higher the number, the more at risk you are. The physical abuse scale asks: Does he throw things or punch the wall? Does he push, shove, grab or throw things at you? Does he slap you? Does he kick or bite? Does he hit with closed fists? Does he try to strangulate you? Does he pin you to the floor or wall, while hitting and punching you? Does he threaten you with a weapon? Does he assault you with a weapon? If you answered "yes" to five or more of these questions, then you are a victim and you need to get out immediately!

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